Captain Underpants 2
by Brockster550
Summary: George, Harold & Em are back! But this time, an army of talking toilets are on the loose. How will the three kids and Captain Underpants defeat them? Only reading the story will give you the answers. No copyright intended, I just own the fanfic.


Captain Underpants 2: The Attack Of The Talking Toilets

by: Brockster550

I just own the fanfic, no copyright intended

Ch. 1

George, Harold and Emily

This is George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp. George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flat top. Harold is the one on the right with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Emily is the only girl in the middle with shoulder-length blonde hair kept straight, a polka dot blouse and a red overall skirt. Remember that now.

Depending on the person you'd ask, you'd hear alot of things about George, Harold and Em (Emily's nickname given to her by George and Harold). Just ask their fourth grade teacher, Ms. Ribble, who might say that the three were disruptively challenged. Their gym teacher, Mr. Meaner might say that the three need a serious attitude adjustment. Their principal, Mr. Krupp (who is also Emily's uncle) will likely say that George and Harold are sneaky and criminally mischievous. He also believes (though incorrectly) that they are being a bad influence on Em (or Emily is what he prefers to call her), and that they could be turning her into a scoundrel. But if you ask their respective parents, they will tell you that George, Harold and Em are smart, sweet and good hearted kids, even if they are a bit silly at times. I'd have to agree with their parents. Even so, their silliness does sometimes get them into trouble. In fact, it got them into so much trouble that they almost caused the entire planet to be destroyed by a vicious army of talking toilets. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story.

Ch. 2

The Announcement

One fine morning at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, George, Harold and Em had just gotten out of their fourth grade remedial gym class when they saw a big poster in the hallway taped by one of the entrance doors to the cafeteria. The poster's description was an announcement for the Second Annual Invention Convention.

George, Harold and Em had fond memories of the Invention Convention from last year, but this year's Invention Convention is a bit different. Whoever wins grand prize (or first prize) will get to be "Principal for the Day."

"Wow, how cool will that be?!" asked Em with excitement. "To be principal for the day!"

"Yeah!" agreed George. "To be able to make up all the rules for an entire day! I do like the idea, so this year I'm taking the convention seriously."

"Me, too." said Em.

"Same here," stated Harold. "We just have to win first prize to get the chance to be principal for the day."

Just then, Principal Krupp came walking by. "What are you three doing?" he asked, thinking that they are up to no good.

"Just reading about this year's invention contest, uncle." Em said. "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Mr. Krupp softened up a bit, since he couldn't see any evidence of the three causing mischief (or their plans to do so).

"We're going to try to win first prize to get the chance to be principals for the day." stated Harold.

Mr. Krupp just started laughing as if it was a joke (clearly unaware and/or oblivious to the fact that they decided to take the convention seriously).

"Do you honestly think I'd let you three enter this year's contest after that stunt you pulled at last year's convention?" he asked.

George, Harold and Em smiled as they revisited the memories of last year's invention convention.

Ch. 3

The Flashback

It was almost a year ago, and all of the students, teachers and other school faculty entered the gymnasium for the convention that would later be known as the "Sticky Chair" incident. George, Harold and Em, as third graders, stepped up to the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, can we have your attention please?" asked George over the microphone, the audience quieted down.

"Thank you." said Em, who is now speaking into the microphone. "Now, George, Harold and I have invented something that is _guaranteed_ to keep you all glued to your seats."

"Yes," said Harold into the microphone. "We call it _glue_."

Mr. Krupp became very angry. "You three did not invent _glue_!" he shouted, outraged.

He stood up to take the microphone away from the three, but his chair came up with him. All the kids howled with laughter. The school secretary, Miss Anthrope, stood up to remove the chair from Mr. Krupp's pants, but her chair stood up with her, and the kids laughed even harder. As you guessed it, the other teachers stood up, with their chairs coming up with them, and all of the kids continued laughing hard. One kid stood up to go to the bathroom, with his chair coming up with him. All the kids stopped laughing, checked their seats, stood up and saw that their chairs came up with them. Everybody was glued to their seats. You see, while it was true that George, Harold and Em didn't invent glue. They had invented a _new_ kind of _glue_. This kind of glue was mixed with rubber cement and a kind of concentrated orange juice mix. By doing this, they created a quick drying, body heat activated glue. The three then applied this glue to every chair (except theirs) early that morning. This caused everyone to glare at George, Harold and Em, outraged and seething with anger.

"I've got a great idea." said Harold.

"What?" asked Em.

"RUN!" cried George.

George, Harold and Em were grinning from ear to ear as they remembered their silly invention and the chaos that followed.

"That was funny, wasn't it?" asked Harold.

"Yep!" said Em while smirking.

"It'll be hard to top that this year for sure." chuckled George.

"Well, you won't get a chance this year." stated Mr. Krupp.

He took out a magnifying glass and held it up to the eligibility description: " **Participating in the contest is open to every student in Jerome Horwitz Elementary School except George Beard, Harold Hutchins and Emily Krupp**!"

"You mean we can't enter the contest?!" asked Harold.

"It's worse than that." said Mr. Krupp. "You three can't even attend this year's convention. I can't even risk you two giving Emily any funny ideas, so the three of you will have to stay in study hall the whole day!"

Mr. Krupp laughed victoriously as he walked away while Em looked at her uncle in disbelief. The three realized that this wasn't fair.

"Rats!" said Harold. "What do we do now?"

"Well, there's the old saying." said George. "If you can't join 'em, beat 'em."

"That means sabotaging the convention?" asked Em.

"That's right, Em." said Harold.

Ch. 4

The Invention

Early that evening, George, Harold and Em sneaked back to school with supplies they packed into their backpacks. They crept into the gymnasium and peeked around inside to see if anybody was around. Then they heard somebody was in the gymnasium.

"I think somebody's here!" said Em.

"Oh, it's just Melvin Sneedly." said George.

Melvin was the school brainiac. He was putting some last minute touches on his invention for the contest.

"Shall we wait here until he leaves?" asked Harold.

"I don't know." said George. "He could be here for the next hour or two. Maybe we should go talk to him."

When Melvin saw George, Harold and Em approaching him, he was not happy to see them there. "Oh no!" he said. "I'll bet you're all here to mess with everybody's inventions."

"Nice guess," said George. "Listen, we promise not to mess with your invention if you promise not to tell anybody you saw us here tonight."

Melvin looked lovingly at his invention and reluctantly agreed. "I promise!" he said.

"Great!" said George. "Say, what is that invention of yours anyway? It looks like a photocopy machine."

"Well, it used to be a photocopy machine." Melvin explained. "But I've made some major adjustments to it. It is an invention that will revolutionize the world. I call it the PATSY 2000."

"It'll revolutionize the world and you named it a PATSY?" asked Harold.

"Yes." said Melvin. "PATSY is an acronym for Photo-Atomic Trans-Somgobulating Yectofantriplutoniczanziptomiser."

"I'm sorry I asked." said Harold.

"Allow me to demonstrate!" said Melvin. "The PATSY 2000 can take any one dimensional photo and turn them into any three dimensional objects, including living and breathing creatures, of any image. For example, this ordinary photograph of a mouse."

Melvin put the photo face down on the glass screen of the PATSY 2000 and pressed the start button. Suddenly the lights dimmed as all the power was getting sucked into the PATSY 2000. Then the machine began to vibrate and start humming with tiny bolts of static electricity snapping from underneath.

"I hope that thing doesn't explode." said Em.

"Oh, this is _nothing_." said Melvin. "Although you should've seen how to PATSY 2000 reacted when I copied a _poodle_!"

Finally, after a series of flashes and loud zaps, everything stopped, a small _ding_ was heard, then a tiny mouse crawled out the side door of the PATSY 2000 and onto the floor.

"Isn't it wonderful?" exclaimed Melvin, feeling proud of himself.

George, Harold and Em inspected the mouse closely.

"That was a great trick." laughed George. "You really had me goin' for a while."

"It's not a trick," cried Melvin. "The PATSY 2000 really _does_ bring photos to life. I even created living beings from _paintings and drawings_!"

"Yeah, _right_!" laughed Harold. "And I thought _we_ were con artists."

George, Harold and Em continued laughing as they walked away. They decided that they need to move on to bigger and better things.

Ch. 5

Bigger And Better Things

George, Harold and Em walked to the other side of the gym, opened up their respective backpacks and got to work. Em busied herself by handing out the supplies while George got out a wrench and turned the spray nozzles on the _Automatic Dog Washer_ around, Harold filled up the soap tank with India ink, while Em poured some oatmeal into the solar-powered leaf blower.

Then the three moved onto the Volcano Detector. George got out the Phillips-head screw driver and handed it to Harold while he himself got out a big bag of butterscotch pudding. Em, meanwhile, was carefully inserting eggs into the _Ping-Pong-Serve-O-Matic_.

"Well, that's everything." said Em.

"Yep, this'll be hard to top!" chuckled George.

"That's for sure!" laughed Harold.

Even Em giggled as the three left to head back to their respective houses for the night.

Ch. 6

The Invention Convention

The following morning started out sunny and cheerful. All the students and faculty filed into the gymnasium and carefully checked their seats before sitting down.

"Greetings." said Mr. Krupp, who was standing up at the microphone. "You all don't need to worry about sticky seats today. I have taken measures to insure that _this_ year's convention won't be a disaster like _last_ year's."

Everyone settled in as Madison Mancini, a third grader, stepped onstage to demonstrate her _Automatic Dog Washer_.

"First," said Madison. "You put your dog in the tub, and then you press this button." Madison pressed the start button.

At first nothing happened, then fifteen seconds later, a spurt of inky black water sprayed up into the air, as if to make it rain black water in the gymnasium, and sprayed onto the crowd. Everyone (except the dog and Madison of course) got soaked. Madison desperately tried to turn off the sprayers.

"I can't stop it!" she cried. "Somebody turned all the nozzles around!"

"Now _who_ could've done that?" asked Mr. Krupp.

Next up was Donnie Shoemyer, a fourth grader, who tried showing his _Ping Pong Serve O Matic_. He turned the machine on and it immediately began hurling extra large grade A eggs into the crowd. Phoop!-phoop!-phoop! went the machine. Splat!-splat!-splat! went the eggs.

"I can't turn the machine off!" cried Donnie. "Somebody jammed a paper clip into the controller!"

"Now _who_ could've done that?" asked Ms. Ribble.

Fifth grader Freddie Moore's _Volcano Detector_ was also a big flop. As soon as he connected the circuits to the nine volt battery, a large spring (which had been crammed into the center of the volcano) launched a giant plastic bag of butterscotch pudding into the crowd. It landed somewhere between the third and fourth rows. _Splat!_

"Hey!" whined Freddie. "Somebody put pudding into my volcano!"

"Now _who_ could've done that?" asked Mr. Meaner.

The rest of the day went on pretty much the same way, with people shouting from "Hey! Who put oatmeal into my solar powered leaf blower?" to "Hey! Somebody let all the mice out of my treadmill dune buggy!" It wasn't long before everyone fled the gymnasium and the Second Annual Invention Convention had to be called off.

 _"How could this have happened?"_ cried Mr. Krupp as he wiped chocolate syrup, pencil shavings and cream of mushroom soup off of himself. _"How could this have happened?_ George, Harold and Emily have been put in study hall, I put them there _myself_!"

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Krupp," said Melvin Sneedly. "I think I have an answer to your question."

Ch. 7

Busted

CRASH! went the door to the study hall room. Mr. Krupp stomped in like a crazy person. George, Harold and Em had _never_ seen him this upset before.

"You boys are in SO MUCH TROUBLE!" shouted Mr. Krupp. "I'm putting you two on PERMANENT DETENTION for the REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!"

"Wait a second," cried George. "You can't prove anything!"

"Yeah," said Harold. "We've been in here all day."

"That's right Uncle." said Em.

"Oh Melvin!" called Mr. Krupp, with an evil grin.

Melvin came in covered with mustard, eggshells and shredded coconut. He points the finger at only George and Harold.

"They did it!" stated Melvin (who is also notorious for being the school tattle tale). "I saw 'em last night in the gym."

Em's eyes widened in disbelief that he had broken his promise.

"And," Melvin went on. "They tricked Emily into joining in on their plan by blackmailing her!"

Mr. Krupp's temper was now like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Em buried her face into her hands and started shaking her head back and forth, horrified that Melvin had just lied to Mr. Krupp (in which he is oblivious to).

"MELVIN!" cried George and Harold, also horrified. "You promised!"

"I changed my mind!" said Melvin, with an evil grin. "Have fun in detention, you two!" He walked out.

"You can go Emily." Mr. Krupp told his niece. "I'll help you find some better friends."

Em had to leave, knowing how bad things were now, because of Melvin lying about George and Harold blackmailing her. Mr. Krupp turned to George and Harold.

"You two," he insisted. "Meet me in the detention room after school."

George and Harold nodded, and they left the study hall room, angry at Melvin because he lied about the blackmailing part and that he broke his promise not to report them for sabotaging the convention. At recess, Em sat by the corner at the north end of the playground. She was so mad that she started crying, at the thought that her uncle would forbid her from hanging out with George and Harold again. Melvin, glad that his plan worked, walks over to a distraught Em (who he has a crush on), in false hopes that she'll kiss him.

"Hey Emily, I'm ready for..." he started to say, but Em angrily interrupted him.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT MELVIN?" She shouted. "HOW COULD YOU LIE TO MY UNCLE LIKE THAT AND MAKE GEORGE AND HAROLD LOOK LIKE BAD GUYS?"

Em was so mad she got up to look for another place to sit as she continued crying (without receiving an answer). Melvin, oblivious to what he caused, was stunned by her reaction, but he didn't seem to feel remorse for what he had done. All the other students at the playground looked at Melvin, shocked and wondered what had happened.

Ch. 8

The Invention Convention Detention

After school, George and Harold walked to the detention room to find Mr. Krupp waiting for them. He gets out a piece of paper and writes a sentence on it saying, " **I will never do anything which angers my handsome and charming principal Mr. Krupp, ever, ever again**." Mr. Krupp then tore the sheet in half and wrote the sentence again, so he can give both pieces to the two boys. At that moment, Em showed up in front of the open detention room doorway.

"Did you want to see me, uncle?" she asked.

"Yes, Emily, come on in." said Mr. Krupp.

So Em walked in, while her uncle turned back toward George and Harold with the pieces of paper and handed them to the boys.

"From now on for the rest of the school year," Mr. Krupp instructed. "The both of you will spend _two hours a day_ after school, copying this sentence. I want **every** chalkboard in this room filled _completely_ , understood?"

"Yes sir!" said George and Harold at the same time.

"Emily," Mr. Krupp said, as he turned to face his niece. "I want you to keep an eye on these two, make sure that they write their sentences."

"Yes uncle!" said Em. "Anything else?"

"No," said Mr. Krupp. "That's all you have to do." Before leaving, he turns back to George and Harold, with another evil grin. "If either of you leaves this room for _any_ reason before your two hours are up, I'll _suspend_ you both."

Now, as you might've guessed, writing sentences was nothing new to George and Harold. The two waited until Mr. Krupp left, then, while smiling, they pulled out some homemade rods with holes in them out of their backpacks. George, Harold and Em had drilled the holes into the rods while making the rods in George's dad's woodshop. George screwed the rods (which had four holes in each one) together, while Harold inserted a piece of chalk into each hole. Em smiled too, knowing that this will help speed up the process. Most of all, she was glad that she hasn't been forbidden from hanging out with George and Harold (since her uncle didn't say so). George and Harold took their respective poles and began copying the sentence Mr. Krupp instructed them to write. Every time they wrote one sentence, the wooden poles made twelve. After five to ten minutes, every chalkboard was filled completely. George and Harold sat down and admired their work.

"Great job you two." said Em. "Without these rods, it would've taken almost two hours."

"No kidding." said George and Harold in unison.

"Well, you both do have alot of free time, what shall we do now?" asked Em.

"Let's make a new comic book!" suggested George.

"Great idea!" said Harold.

As George and Harold got out some paper and pencils, Em pulled out a box of crayons from her backpack.

"Where did you get those, Em?" asked George, who was surprised.

"I always keep another box in my backpack," explained Em. "Just in case if we're still at school when we decide to make another comic book."

"That's great, Em!" said Harold. "It never hurts to be prepared!"

So the three kids got busy making their new comic book: _Captain Underpants And The Attack Of The Talking Toilets_.

Ch. 9

A Big Mistake

After fifteen minutes or so, George, Harold and Em sat together reading their newest comic book, feeling proud of themselves.

"Now all we have to do is go to the office and make copies of this," said George. "So we can sell them on the playground tomorrow."

"We can't," said Harold. "If Mr. Krupp catches us outside the detention room, he'll _suspend_ us."

"We'll be fine as long as we stay out of my uncle's sight." said Em.

So the three kids sneaked out of the detention room as quietly as possible, and began walking down the hallway to the office. Em walked further ahead to make sure her uncle wasn't around, especially at corners or crossways. They managed to make it to the office, and Em peeked inside.

"Uh-oh!" she said. "There's a bunch of teachers in the office, we can't use the copy machine while they're in there."

"Are there any other copy machines in this school?" asked Harold.

"Let's try the one Melvin had!" suggested Em.

"Good idea!" said George.

The three kids headed to the gym and found the PATSY 2000.

"I wonder if this machine still makes copies," said Harold. "Melvin did say that he made some major adjustments to it."

"Oh, he probably just crammed the mouse in there to fool us," said Em. "It's still the oldest trick in the book yet."

"I'm sure this machine still makes regular copies." said George. So he placed the front cover of their new comic book facedown on the glass screen and pressed start.

All at once, the lights in the gym dimmed, and the PATSY 2000 began to shake and chunk around wildly. Giant volts of static electricity zapped out the bottom of the machine as a great whirlwind rose from the top. All kinds of loose papers and small objects were pulled into the wind and spun above the machine like a raging cyclone.

"I don't think it should be doing this!" shouted George over the horrible noise.

Finally, after a series of flashes and loud zaps, the noise, wind and sparks stopped altogether. All that could be heard was something groaning and clawing about the inside of the bloated, battered frame of the PATSY 2000.

"It sounds like something's _alive_ inside there!" said Em.

So Harold snatched the comic book from the top of the machine. "Let's get out of here!" he cried.

Just then a small _ding_ was heard. Then a full-sized, shiny white toilet emerged from the side of the PATSY 2000. It's teeth were sharp and jagged, with its eyeballs glowing red with swelling veins.

"YUM, YUM, EAT 'EM UP!" cried the evil toilet.

Almost immediately, another toilet emerged, followed by another one, and another, and _another_ , all of them screaming _exactly_ the same thing as the first toilet.

"Oh, NO!" cried Em. "Melvin was right. The Photo-Atomic Trans-Somgobulating Yectofantriplutoniczanziptomiser really does create living, breathing, three dimensional copies of one-dimensional images!"

"I've got an idea!" said George.

"What?" asked Harold.

"RUN!" cried George.

Ch. 10

The Invention Convention Detention Suspension

George, Harold and Em ran screaming out of the gym. Em went first, followed by George and Harold. They closed the door as tightly as possible behind them. In their panic, they didn't see that Mr. Krupp was walking down the hallway.

"A- _HA_!" he shouted. "You boys left the detention room, and your two hours weren't even up yet! You know what that means, don't you?!"

Em gasped at that and gave her uncle pleading eyes, which he didn't pay attention to.

 _"It wasn't our fault!_ " cried Harold.

" _Too_ bad!" shouted Mr. Krupp with delight. "You boys are officially _SUSPENDED_!"

" _Wait_ ," cried George. "You've got to listen. Behind this door is an army of evil vicious..."

"I don't have to listen to you boys _ever again_ ," laughed Mr. Krupp, still ignoring his niece's pleading eyes. "Now get your stuff and get out of this school!"

"But...but..." Harold stammered. "You don't understa..."

" _GET OUT!"_ screamed Mr. Krupp.

He walked away as he continued ignoring his niece's pleading eyes. Em hasn't had a bad day worse than this. First, Melvin broke his promise and lied to her uncle about George and Harold blackmailing her, her uncle having put her best friends in detention for the remainder of the school year, and now her best friends are suspended from school. She just sat there with her face buried in her hands, crying once again. Meanwhile, George and Harold went to their respective lockers to get their stuff.

"Gosh!" said Harold. "In one day, we got a detention, a suspension and now we created an army of talking toilets."

"That's a pretty bad day, even by _our_ standards." said George.

"I don't know how Em is gonna handle this now, being at this school without us." stated Harold.

"Yeah," said George. "She is probably gonna have Melvin on her back almost continuously now, at least during school hours. She won't like that at all!"

The two boys walked toward the entrance and found a distraught Em sitting by the gym door.

"Hey Em!" said George and Harold.

Em jumped up with delight at seeing the boys. "Hey guys," she said. "I'm just making sure none of the toilets escape the gym."

"That's good," said George. "We just came to check on you and..."

Some commotion was heard up and down the hallways. It was a clear sign that word about George and Harold's suspension was quickly spreading. All the teachers and other faculty came running up to them, to laugh at George and Harold and cheer.

"You boys are in so much trouble," chuckled Miss Anthrope. "I can't wait to call your parents and tell them the news."

"Let's take their desks outside and chop them up!" cried Ms. Ribble with joy.

"Let's throw a party in the gym!" shouted Mr. Meaner.

"NOOO!" cried George. "Whatever you do, _DON'T_ open the gym door!"

"We can do whatever we like," snarled Mr. Meaner, as if George's comment was a joke. "Look, I'm opening the door, now I'm closing it. Now I'm opening the door again, and now I'm... AHHHHHHHH mmblemble gluh!"

A toilet just stuck it's mouth through the open door, snapped Mr. Meaner up, and swallowed him whole. _"Flussssh!"_ Soon after, the other toilets also pushed their way through the doors and spilled out into the hallway.

"YUM, YUM, EAT 'EM UP!" bellowed the toilets.

The teachers couldn't believe their eyes. They all ran away in fear, with only George, Harold, Em, Ms. Ribble and Mr. Krupp remaining. Paralyzed, they watched the toilets move closer. Finally, Ms. Ribble pointed at the toilets and snapped her fingers. _SNAP!_

"Go away," she cried. "Go away right this minute!"

But the toilets didn't listen, they just moved closer and closer. Ms. Ribble finally left, screaming like a banshee. Mr. Krupp, however, just stood there in a daze.

"Uh-oh!" said Harold. "Did Ms. Ribble really just _snap her fingers_?!"

"Yep," said George. "That means we're _really_ in trouble!"

And George was right, because at that moment, a silly, heroic smile came over his face as he stood defiantly at his foes. Mr. Krupp had changed into Captain Underpants.

"I'll put a stop to you vile villains." he said fearlessly. "But first, I'll need some _supplies_!"

Captain Underpants dashed to Mr. Krupp's office.

"Oh no!" cried Em. "Why did Ms. Ribble have to snap her fingers? WHY?!"

"Never mind that," cried George, as the three started chasing Captain Underpants. "We've got to pour water on his head now before it's too late!"

Ch. 11

It's Too Late!

When George, Harold and Em reached Mr. Krupp's office, Captain Underpants was nowhere to be seen, with only his clothes and toupee on the floor.

"Look," said Em, pointing a finger at the window. "The window is open and one of the red curtains is missing."

"Well, we need to find Captain Underpants and save him," stated George. "Or else, we'll get eaten by the toilets ourselves."

"You're right, let's get going!" said Harold.

George and Harold jumped out and slid down the flagpole while Em quickly gathered her uncle's clothes and toupee and stuffed them into her backpack. Then she slid down the flagpole herself, and the three followed Captain Underpants.

"Where is he going?" asked Em.

"I don't know," said Harold. "But we need to run fast because we're being followed!"

Five of the toilets leaped out from Mr. Krupp's window and followed the four heroes. Captain Underpants dashed through the backyards of various houses and collected pairs of underwear from the clotheslines.

"Mommy!" said a little boy looking out his window. "A guy in a red cape just stole our underwear. And now two boys and a girl are running from a group of five talking toilets with sharp, pointy teeth that are screaming: 'yum, yum, eat 'em up!'"

"Yeah, right!" laughed his mother, oblivious that her son is telling the truth. "Just how _gullible_ do you think I am?!"

Ch. 12

The Talking Toilet Takeover

After Captain Underpants finished snatching the various pairs of underwear from the civilians, he dashed back to Jerome Horwitz Elementary School while George, Harold and Em followed. The school was overrun with chaos by now, as the other five toilets followed Ms. Ribble.

"HELP ME!" she cried. "They swallowed all the other teachers except me!"

"Don't worry ma'am, I won't let them eat you." said Captain Underpants as a toilet ate her up. "Oops!"

Now only George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants were left. They stood on the lawn, surrounded by the hungry toilets, whose mouths were dripping with water.

"YUM, YUM, EAT 'EM UP!" chanted the toilets. "YUM, YUM, EAT 'EM UP!"

"We're doomed!" cried Em.

"Never underestimate the power of underwear!" said Captain Underpants.

He then stretched and shot underwear into the waiting mouths of the toilets, but they just swallowed them up, and this only seemed to make them hungrier and hungrier. Captain Underpants stopped after getting down to the last pair of underwear, deciding that they could come up with something better.

"Well, we need something that can make the toilets sick and cause them to throw up!" said George.

"Yeah, something so vile and disgusting, that will make them _toss their cookies_ and writhe in agony!" Harold stated.

Suddenly, Em came up with an idea. "CAFETERIA FOOD!" she blurted out.

And, faster than a speeding waistband, our four heroes ran to the cafeteria, locking the door behind them.

Ch. 13

Creamed Chipped Beef To The Rescue

With the front door locked, the four heroes made it to the cafeteria.

"I think all the toilets are outside." said Em with some relief on her face.

"Yeah, but not for long!" said George.

So the four heroes dashed to the kitchen, looking for something and found a cart with a vat full of something green and sludgy inside on top of it.

"Yuck!" said Em, holding her nose. "What _is_ that stuff?"

"I think it's tomorrow's lunch!" said Harold.

"Creamed chipped beef is what it is!" said George.

"Perfect!" said Em. "I never thought I'd be _glad_ to see creamed chipped beef."

Together, the four heroes wheeled the tub of stinky green glop out through the kitchen door and around to the front entrance where all the toilets were facing the front door, waiting for our heroes to come out.

"Tra-la-laaaa!" sang Captain Underpants.

The talking toilets turned around and saw the heroes. All at once they shouted, "YUM, YUM, EAT 'EM UP!"

Captain Underpants stretched the last pair of underwear over his head like a slingshot, Em took to scooping the creamed chipped beef onto the underwear while George and Harold dashed as fast as they could while pulling the cart, then Em pulled back on the underwear and let go.

"Fire One!" cried Captain Underpants.

The first glob of creamed chipped beef flew right into the first toilet's mouth, and it swallowed it whole. George and Harold kept pulling the cart while Em scooped out a second serving into the underwear, pulled it back, and let go again.

"Fire Two!" cried Captain Underpants. The cafeteria food zipped right into the mouth of the second toilet, where it swallowed it whole.

The whole process repeated until every toilet had swallowed at least two servings of creamed chipped beef.

"We're out of ammo!" Captain Underpants shouted.

"I'm exhausted!" said Harold, huffing and puffing.

"I don't think I can run any longer!" said George, also huffing and puffing.

"Don't worry you guys," said Em, pointing to the toilets. "Look!"

The toilets had all of a sudden slowed down. They started to groan and were wobbling around as if they were loosing their balance. Then their eyes crossed, and their bodies turned into an odd shade of green.

"Look out!" cried Harold. "I think they're gonna hurl!"

And that's just what they did! George, Harold, Em and Captain Underpants watched as the toilets upchucked everything they had eaten throughout the afternoon. The creamed chipped beef, the underwear, even the teachers came out without a scratch. The toilets then spun around in small circles and fell to the ground, dead. George checked the teachers.

"They're alive." he said. "Unconscious, but alive."

"Wow," said Em. "That was _easy_!"

" _Too_ easy," said Harold.

"What do you mean?" asked Em.

Harold pulled their comic book out and showed it to her. "Remember how the PATSY 2000 turned everything on the front cover of our comic book to life?" he asked.

"Yeah." said Em.

"Well," said George, who pointed to the Turbo Toilet 2000. "We haven't seen _him_ yet!"

Ch. 14

The Turbo Toilet 2000

Suddenly, the Turbo Toilet 2000 came charging out the front door with a terrible _CRASH_! The earth rumbled beneath it's mighty footsteps as nearly a ton of twisting steel and raging porcelain descended upon our heroes.

"You four meddling fools may have defeated my army of talking toilets..." he screamed. "But you have no more cafeteria food, so how are you going to stop me?"

"I'll tell you," Captain Underpants said boldly. "With wedgie power!"

"Wait, Captain Underpants!" cried Em, with fright in her voice. "You can't battle him, he'll rip you to shreds!"

"Now listen you three," Captain Underpants nobly tells George, Harold and Em. "I must fight for truth, justice and _all_ that is Pre-Shrunk and Cottony."

Captain Underpants leaped onto the Turbo Toilet 2000, and the battle began.

"I sure hope this doesn't lead to extremely graphic violence!" Em stated with worry.

"Me, too." said George.

"Same here." agreed Harold.

Ch. 15

Harold And The Purple Ball-Point Pen

Captain Underpants managed to give the Turbo Toilet 2000 a wedgie, but then he picked up Captain Underpants and tossed him into his mouth. Now the Turbo Toilet 2000 was coming after George, Harold and Em, laughing victoriously.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" laughed the powerful porcelain predator. "Once you three have been eaten up, I will _take over the worl_ _d!_ "

"Not if _we_ have anything to say about it!" yelled George.

The three kids ran inside and locked the door.

The Turbo Toilet 2000 was banging on the door with it's fists screaming, "You kids can't hide in there forever!"

So George, Harold and Em ran to the detention room.

"I've got a plan!" said George. "Let's invent a character who can _defeat_ a giant robot toilet."

"How about a giant robot urinal?" asked Harold. "We can call it the Urinator!"

"We can't!" explained Em. "They won't let us get away with something like that in a children's book. We're skating on thin ice here!"

"How about a giant 'Plunger' robot?" asked George.

"Okay." agreed Harold. He got out his purple ball-point pen and paper to draw it.

"Okay, let's give the robot laser eyes!" stated George.

"Alright!" said Harold.

"Also turbo-atomic rocket boosters." said Em.

"Got it!" said Harold.

"And make him obey our every command!" instructed George.

"I'm _way_ ahead of you." said Harold.

Harold finished the drawing and George inspected it. Then the three kids ran to the gym to push the PATSY 2000 upright.

"This just _might_ work." said George.

"Yeah!" said Harold. "If the PATSY 2000 can hold out."

The three kids checked the dented, cracked and beaten up machine laying on its side in the corner, then they set it upright.

"Come on PATSY, old girl." said George. "We really need you for this!"

"Yeah," said Em. "The fate of the entire planet is in our hands!"

Ch. 16

The Incredible Robo Plunger

George took Harold's picture and placed it facedown on the screen of the PATSY 2000 and pressed the start button. The lights dimmed all around them as smoke flowed out from the machine as it began to shake. Lightning bolts zapped, thunder clapped, and the whole gymnasium shook with Photo-Atomic Trans-Somgobulatory Yectofantriplutoniczanziptomiser energy. Harold and Em faced away with their eyes closed tight and ears plugged while George kept watch.

"C'mon PATSY," shouted George over the horrible noise. "You can do it! You can DO IT!"

Finally, a small _ding_ was heard, and the PATSY 2000 coughed up a huge metallic behemoth. It rose up and stood valiantly before George, Harold and Em. It was the Incredible _Robo-Plunger_.

 _"Hooray!_ " cried George. "It _worked_."

"Way to go PATSY!" cheered Em. "Now let's go kick some Turbo Toilet Tushy!"

Ch. 17

The Aftermath

The Incredible Robo-Plunger managed to defeat the Turbo Toilet 2000 with a number of punches, kicking it's behind, and finally kills the Turbo Toilet 2000 by sticking the plunger down it's mouth. George, Harold and Em knew their problems weren't over yet. The three reached into the mouth and pulled out their principal.

 _"What happened here?"_ cried Mr. Krupp. "The school has been _destroyed_ , the teachers are all _unconscious_ , and I'm standing here in my _underwear_!"

"Uh-oh!" whispered Harold. "Captain Underpants must've gotten water on his head. He turned back into Principal Krupp!"

Em reached into her backpack and pulled her uncle's clothes and toupee out and handed them to him.

"Here you go uncle!" said Em as her uncle took them and started getting dressed.

"Thank you Emily!" said Mr. Krupp as he finished getting dressed.

Then he looked at all the damage done to the school, the dead toilets and the unconscious teachers.

"I'm ruined!" Mr. Krupp stated with worry. "I'm going to be held responsible for the mess! I'm going to lose my job!"

"Maybe not," said George. "We can fix everything, and get this whole mess cleaned up."

"But it'll cost you!" said Harold.

"What will it cost me?" asked Mr. Krupp.

Then Em spoke up. "Well," she said. "I'd like for you to cancel George and Harold's detention _and_ their suspension."

"And for the three of us to be _Principals for the Day_!" said Harold.

"All right," said Mr. Krupp. "If _everything_ can really be fixed, you've got a deal!"

George, Harold and Em turned and spoke to the Robo-Plunger.

"All right, robot guy," George began instructing. "Make yourself useful and pick up all this mess!"

"Yeah, and fix up the school too." said Harold. "Use your laser eyes to repair all the broken windows and stuff!"

"When you've finished," said Em. "take all the evidence and fly it up to Uranus."

"And don't come back!" George concluded.

The robot obeyed.

The Incredible Robo-Plunger soared off into space with all the evidence by the time the teachers started to regain consciousness.

"I just had the strangest dream!" said Ms. Ribble. "It was all about these evil toilets attempting to take over the world."

"We had the same dream, too." said all the other teachers as they all went back inside.

"Well," said Mr. Krupp as he turned to George and Harold. "Your detention and suspension has been cancelled. The three of you will also be Principals for the Day tomorrow."

"Thank you uncle!" said Em as she went to hug her uncle, who hugged her back and smiled genuinely.

Mr. Krupp then went back to his office as George, Harold and Em walked back to the treehouse.

"I wonder what we shall do tomorrow as Principals for the Day?" asked Em.

"I don't know," said George. "I guess we'll need to figure that out when we get to the treehouse."

"One thing we will need to do is make copies of our comic book so we can sell them on the playground tomorrow." stated Harold.

"Oh, that's right," realized George. "Glad you remembered Harold." The three kids laughed as they made it to the treehouse to begin planning for tomorrow.

Ch. 18

Principals For The Day

(Or The Invention Convention Detention Suspension Prevention)

"Attention students," George spoke into the intercom the next day. "This is Principal George speaking, you are all excused from classes today."

"Principal Harold speaking," said Harold into the intercom. "This means that there won't be any homework or tests, everybody gets an "A" for the day."

"Principal Emily speaking," said Em into the intercom. "We are also hosting an all-day recess outside, complete with free pizza, french fries, cotton candy, you-name-it, and also a live DJ. Now go outside and play."

All the students ran outside as fast as they could with excitement, cheering that they didn't have to worry too much about schoolwork for the day. Principal George, Principal Harold and Principal Em strolled out onto the playground to behold their glorious domain. George got himself a slice of pepperoni pizza, Harold made himself a banana split from the all-you-can-eat ice cream sundae bar, while Em got herself a giant pretzel. The three also went to get a cold beverage where George, Harold and Em chose a pepsi, coca-cola and a root beer respectively. The three then headed back inside so they can start making copies of the comic book to sell to the other students.

"It's _good_ to be principal!" said George.

"Yeah!" agreed Harold. "I wish we could be principals every day!"

"Me, too!" agreed Em. "If only today won't pass by too fast!"

After getting the comic book copies out of the way, George, Harold and Em paid a visit to the unfortunate folks spending the day in the detention room writing sentences or for some other kind of punishment. All of the teachers were there (as punishment for not paying attention to the warning about the talking toilets), as well as Melvin Sneedly (as punishment for lying and being a tattle tale, which was given by Em) and Mr. Krupp (as punishment for not going easy on the students, particularly George and Harold, which they gave the punishment, since Em couldn't bring herself to punish her uncle). Mr. Krupp looked out the window at the all-day recess celebration going on outside.

"How are you going to pay for all that?!" asked Mr. Krupp.

"Oh, we sold some stuff!" said George.

 _"What did you sell?!"_ asked Mr. Krupp suspiciously.

"Oh, like your antique walnut desk and leather chair." said George.

"Not to mention all the furniture in the teacher's lounge." said Harold.

"WHAT?!" screamed Mr. Krupp incredulously.

"Gotta go!" said George.

So he, Harold and Em ran out of the detention room.

Miss Anthrope snapped her fingers at them. "Come back here right now!" she yelled.

"Uh-oh," said George. "Did Miss Anthrope just _snap her fingers_?!"

Within seconds, Mr. Krupp dashed out of the detention room and ran down the hallway toward his office, with a goofy, heroic, _all-too-familiar-looking_ smile on his face. Em gasped.

"Oh no!" cried George.

"Here we go again!" said Harold.

"Tra-la-laaaaa!" sang Captain Underpants as he ran away.


End file.
